Matrimonios Duraderos/Long Lasting Marriages

Vivimos en una sociedad donde las bodas de plata o de oro se están convirtiendo en cosa del pasado y van siendo parte de la historia, debido a la falta de compromiso en los nuevos matrimonios.

Algunas estadísticas muestran que más del 50% de los nuevos matrimonios terminan en divorcio o separación. Esto viene a demostrar que el matrimonio es solamente visto como un acuerdo contractual entre dos personas que puede ser fácilmente eliminado.

Poco es el tiempo que usamos en reflexionar sobre el hecho de que el matrimonio no es entre dos personas sino más bien tres, esposo, esposa y Jesucristo.

Por lo tanto, aprender a ver nuestro matrimonio que esta compuesto de tres, seguramente ayudara a que nuestros matrimonios se enriqueceran y se hagan mas fuertes.

Hay muchas maneras de enriquecer nuestros matrimonios en orden de que nuestra Unión se llene del amor y la gracia de Dios; solo tenemos que permitir que Dios entre en nuestros matrimonios.

Es muy importante que las decisiones que tomemos en nuestros matrimonios esten estimulados por el amor–y que por ese amor siempre estamos dispuestos a perdonarnos el uno con el otro. También es importante compartir en la fe, en la confianza y respeto entre la pareja y buscar amigos que de ningún modo puedan dañar el matrimonio.

Tampoco, es suficiente amar en silencio, El amor debe de expresarse entre la parejas.   También debemos orar juntos y luchar por los mismos valores, y prestar atención a las necesidades de otro.

Estas no son recetas mágicas, sino prácticas comprobadas que durante años han sido utilizadas por ésos que han celebrado aniversarios de plata o de oro.

Te invitamos a dar testimonio del amor de Dios y su misericordia a través de tu sagrada union y mirando el ejemplo de la Sagrada Familia como guia en nuestras vidas.

 

Long Lasting Marriages

We live in a society where silver or gold wedding celebrations are becoming a thing of the past and becoming a history as a result of the lack of commitment in new marriages. Statistics show that more than 50 percent of those new marriages end in divorce or separation. This goes to show that marriage is viewed as a contractual agreement between two people that can be easily disposed of. Little thought is given to the fact that marriage is not between two people but rather three — husband, wife and Jesus Christ.

Therefore, as we learn to view our marriage as being composed of three, we will begin to see our marriages become enriched and stronger.

There are many ways to enrich our marriages in order for the union to be filled with love and the grace of God; we just have to allow God into our marriages.

It is very important that the decisions we make in marriages stem from love — and that from that love, we are always willing to forgive one another.

It is also important to share in the faith, to trust and respect one another, and seek out friends that will in no way harm the marriage. It is not enough to love in silence — love must be expressed between couples.

We must also pray together and fight for the same values, to pay attention to the needs of one another. These are not magic recipes, but proven practices that for years have been utilized by those celebrating silver or gold anniversaries.

We invite you to give testimony of God’s love and mercy through your marriage and look to the Holy Family for guidance and encouragement.

God bless you all.

Adela Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She is pictured here with her husband, David. Read more about Adela on the "Meet Our Bloggers" page.
Adela Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She is pictured here with her husband, David. Read more about Adela on the “Meet Our Bloggers” page.


 

 

How to live a true love? Cómo vivir el amor verdadero?

It is necessary to love truly, to understand that a relationship sometimes is not all beauty and fun, but there are also disagreements, battles and even broken dishes.

Blogger Adela Hernandez provides her blog posts in both Spanish and English. Scroll down for the English translation.

El amor Verdadero

¿Cómo vivir el amor verdadero?

Es difícil explicar lo que sientes cuando estás enamorado, sientes mariposas en tu estómago, sientes la necesidad de hablar con esa persona que de pronto te robo el sueño. Tus días malos se hacen mejores con su sola presencia.

Pero qué pasa cuando descubres que tu pareja ya no es la misma persona que era en el noviazgo y que esos detallitos que sentías en esa época, ya no son tan intensos; empiezas a notar más los defectos que las virtudes. Miras a tu pareja egoísta, desatento, etc., que todo te desagrada y de pronto quieres retirarte de este individuo y crees que te enamoraste de la persona equivocada.

Esta etapa del matrimonio es terrible, lo que mirabas color de rosa se vuelve negro, frio y feo, nada les agrada y en este período muchas de las parejas tiran la toalla debido al resentimiento que se ha anidado en su mente.

Para descubrir el amor verdadero en el matrimonio, es indispensable pasar por este proceso de madurez, fe, tolerancia y crecimiento del amor de uno para el otro. El amar a tu pareja, significa saber reconocer y asumir que las personas tenemos, tanto, defectos como virtudes y que el amor, no es un cuento de príncipes y princesas, sino todo lo contrario, es entre personas tan humanas como usted y como yo.

El amor sincero es enamorarse de las diferencias de tu pareja, realizando que eso mismo es tu complemento. Hay que ser tolerante con esas diferencias y abrir la puerta de la comprensión.

Una pareja saludable, feliz y satisfecha sabe que el amor verdadero se nutre de esa complicidad de miradas, de seguir sonriendo e ilusionándonos para un futuro mejor.

Uno no puede decir que ama a su pareja, hasta que conoce sus demonios. Hace falta amar de verdad para comprender que en una relación no todo es belleza y diversión, sino que también hay desacuerdos, batallas y hasta platos rotos.

El verdadero amor es amar a tu pareja aun con esos defectos que has descubierto y ese amor se fortalece día a día basado en el compañerismo, fidelidad, compasión, tolerancia, comunicación; respetándose y valorándose con autenticidad.

Pero para decir te amo, primero debes aprender a decir me amo, porque el amor y el conocimiento de uno mismo es la clave para generar relaciones saludables. Y para encontrar la pareja ideal debemos prepararnos nosotros mismos para una relación duradera que exige tiempo y trabajo interior. Sabemos que no es fácil pero con el tiempo, tendrás grandes beneficios.

El auténtico amor es capaz de perdurar al través de los años, aportando una felicidad sincera donde la pareja puede crecer personalmente y en conjunto, cuidando de los detalles del amor, haciendo castillos de ilusiones y nunca perder la capacidad de asombro.

El amor verdadero es amar a tu pareja como Cristo amo a su iglesia, que se entregó a ella sin condiciones, sin reserva ni excepciones.

Dios los bendiga.

True love

How to live a true love?

Being in love is difficult to explain. You feel butterflies in your stomach and the need to communicate with that person is completely overwhelming you that soon you’re losing sleep. Your bad days become better and brighter just with their presence alone.

What happens when you discover that your loved one is not the person you met while you were dating and those emotions you felt don’t feel as intense as when you first met. You might begin to notice more the defects of that person instead of their virtues. You might begin to see your loved one as a selfish, inattentive and disorganized individual. Soon everything about that person begins to turn you away from them and you begin to doubt your loved one and think you are with the wrong person.

At this stage, marriage seems terrible. The rose-colored lenses you saw your loved one start to turn black, cold and ugly, so much so that resentment rears its head. It is during this period that many of the couples are ready to give up or have given up completely on each other.

In discovering true love, this phase is unavoidable. A marriage is a process of maturity, faith, tolerance and growth towards love in each other. To love your husband/wife is to learn to recognize and accept the defects, faults and virtues. This will be a key element in recognizing that love does not come as a fairy tale, with a prince and princess that will be completely in tuned with each other, but on the contrary, marriage is between human beings like you and me.

Loving your partner sincerely is completely falling in love with their defects, faults and virtues; you have to realize that they are your complementary opposite, your other half. Learning to be tolerant with these differences will open the door for further comprehension.

A healthy, happy and satisfied marriage knows that true love is nourished by this complicity of looks, to keep smiling and enthusing them for a yet to come brighter future.

One cannot say that he or she loves his/her partner until they meets their demons. It is necessary to love truly, to understand that a relationship sometimes is not all beauty and fun, but there are also disagreements, battles and even broken dishes.

True love is to love your partner even with those defects that you have discovered. Love is strengthened day by day based on companionship, loyalty, compassion, tolerance, communication; respecting and appreciating it with authenticity.

But to say ‘I love you,’ you must first learn to love yourself, because the love and knowledge of oneself is the key to build healthy relationships. And a way to find the ideal partner we must prepare ourselves for a long-lasting relationship that demands time and inner work. I know that it is not easy, but with time, you will have great benefits.

Authentic love is able to endure through the years, providing a sincere happiness where the couple can grow personally and together, taking care of the details of love, making castles of illusions and never losing the ability to wonder.

True love is to love your partner as Christ loved his church, and that was by surrendering without conditions, limitations nor reservation.

God bless you all.

Adela Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She is pictured here with her husband, David. Read more about Adela on the "Meet Our Bloggers" page.
Adela Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She is pictured here with her husband, David. Read more about Adela on the “Meet Our Bloggers” page.

 

La Convivencia: Coexistence

Vivimos una vida cada vez más difícil y complicada donde los aparatos eléctricos y redes sociales pareciera estar en primer lugar, como si no existieran más problemas y dificultades para el día, como si eso fuera lo más importante en nuestras vidas.Esta situación hace que muchos matrimonios se vayan deteriorando y enfriando viviendo en un constante y total fastidio hasta convertirse en extraños.

We live a very busy and complicated world, where electronics and social networks appear to be in first place — as if no other problems or difficulties existed. We would like to think that this issue is one that exists only among children or teenagers, but the reality is that adults are also faced with this situation in which their lives revolve around electronics and social media. Regrettably, this sort of approach to electronics and social media is having a deep impact on marriages because the spouses become strangers, and eventually their relationship deteriorates so much  that it becomes nearly irreparable.

La convivencia del hogar es muy exigente y es un arma de dos filos, puede ser el cielo o el infierno. Y en muchas ocasiones manipulamos y desgastamos el amor, nos olvidamos de las promesas a Dios que en los votos matrimoniales nos dimos el uno para el otro, y nos olvidamos de lo sagrado que es el sacramento del matrimonio.

The coexistence between spouses in their home is very demanding and therefore home can either be hell or it can be heaven. On many occasions we forget the promises we made to each other and God and manipulate or misuse our love. We easily forget the covenant we created with God and our spouse in the sacrament of marriage.

Tenemos que despertar y empezar a mirar a nuestro alrededor de cómo se miran muchos de los matrimonios modernos, con sus electrónicos de alta tecnología pero que brindan una gran pobreza espiritual en sus vidas, con cientos de amigos en las redes sociales pero con un total aislamiento en sus familias.

We need to wake up and take a long hard look at modern marriages — with their high-tech electronics and hundreds of friends on social media. We must look deeper and recognize that these things lead to great spiritual poverty and total isolation from other family members.

Haz notado que en algunas familias, aunque todos están presentes físicamente, al mismo tiempo están ausentes porque están en las redes sociales a través del teléfono o computadoras? Y se mantienen en propio círculo?

Have you ever noticed this in some families, that even though people are physically present during family reunions they are also absent because they connected to social networks via the phone or computer and disconnected from the present? Or perhaps you have observed that during dinner or supper spouses and children do not speak to one another; instead, they are looking downward to their phone and in their own little world.

El verdadero convivio familiar es compartir esos momentos, sus alegrías, logros y fracasos.

The true family gathering is to be present with all of our senses and share moments, thoughts, concerns, achievements and failures. A true family gathering is one that forces us to connect with those we love and love them with our presence in mind, body and spirit — to coexist with them.

La convivencia es abrir tu corazón, a escuchar y compartir unos con otros. La convivencia es salirse del egoísmo aprendiendo a compartir y dar. Ahí es cuando se descubre la alegría inmensa que proporciona la comunicación que es el fruto de la convivencia marital y de la familia.

Coexistence is to open our heart, to listen and to share with each other. Coexistence is to rid ourselves of selfishness and share and give of ourselves. That is when you discover the immense joy that communication provides, which is the result of marital cohabitation and family.

La convivencia es agradarse uno al otro, la convivencia debe de estar impregnada del amor de Dios y de su familia, ese amor que te inyecta la fuerza de ir hacia el mismo lado, los mismos ideales proyectos e intereses de nosotros.

Coexistence is pleasing one another, coexistence must be imbued with the love of God and the love of our family, that love which infuses you with strength to walk side by side in the same ideals, interest and projects.

Los matrimonios somos, la célula básica de nuestra sociedad, debemos de pensar en nuestros hijos, cuál es la imagen del matrimonio que les estamos mostrando.

Marriages are the basic cell of our society. They provide an image and example for others to follow. It sets the foundation for our children and how they will view marriage and what coexistence looks like between spouses.

Recordemos, que la convivencia la hace la familia, pero la mayor responsabilidad siempre recae en la pareja, mostrando el camino, recorriéndolo primero enriqueciéndolo con sus consejos, sus afectos su alegría y su amor.

Remember that coexistence comes from God as a gift for the family. But the greater responsibility always falls on the the couple, showing them the way, walking it first, enriching it with their advice, their affections, their joy and their love.

Adela Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She is pictured here with her husband, David. Read more about Adela on the "Meet Our Bloggers" page.
Adela Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She is pictured here with her husband, David. Read more about Adela on the “Meet Our Bloggers” page.

 

Maturing in love

To live in a new stage of marriage, we all need to let ourselves be changed by marriage. The reluctance to change denies the possibility of being happy and can lead us to very difficult and painful conflicts that could lead to separation.

Keeping the old behaviors that we had before we got married will not be healthy for a couple who has just married. It is recommended for the newlywed to change the words “I” to “us” and “mine” to “ours.”

Marriage is full of richness between the couple but sometimes it is difficult for us to take away the habit of using our time only for personal desires, or with “my” own friends.

Establishing a balance between marriage life and the outside personal world is a process which will last according to the desire to integrate with love to the new stage of marriage and the adaptability of each of us.

When things do not go as we hope in our marriages, there will always be a chance to seek marital help that exists in our parishes and if necessary, the use of professional marriage counselors.

The ups and downs in marriage are present very often but these give us the opportunity to grow and mature in love.

 

For more than 15 years, Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She also was an instructor in the Engaged Encounter program, RCIA program and has been host of talks for marriage enrichment. She was born into a family where marriage was for life, where if something was not working well in marriage, it was fixed, and the marriage was not thrown away. Her mission is to evangelize young couples, sharing her experiences of 42 years of marriage and the different ministries that she has participated, especially in the area of marriage.
Adela Hernandez For more than 15 years, Hernandez has worked in the convalidation marriage program, working with unmarried couples who live together to receive a sacramental marriage. She also was an instructor in the Engaged Encounter program, RCIA program and has been host of talks for marriage enrichment. She was born into a family where marriage was for life, where if something was not working well in marriage, it was fixed, and the marriage was not thrown away. Her mission is to evangelize young couples, sharing her experiences of 42 years of marriage and the different ministries that she has participated, especially in the area of marriage. Adela is pictured here with her husband, David.